She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
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i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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