i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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