Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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