i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
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How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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