Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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