I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
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i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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