'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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