My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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