She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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