i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize