Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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