You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
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she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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