Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
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Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
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WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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