I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize