I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I can't turn off my feet"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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