chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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