Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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