: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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