you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
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I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
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Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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