I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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