I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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