I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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