Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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