We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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