I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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