Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize