i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Porn is love you can see.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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