i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize