oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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