Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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