Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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