Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
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I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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