I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize