Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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