Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
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Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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