I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Your penis caused this!
Randomize