You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize