do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize