last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize