I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize