My cat gives me a boner
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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