Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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