We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
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We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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