I'm going to rape someone's good day.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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