I just threw up on my dentist
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize