Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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