I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
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