Old men and throwing up are my life now.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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