I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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