Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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