I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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