Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
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You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
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So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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